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Caravan of Love
Colonel Sage requests your help in defending a civilian convoy Cast * Janine De Luca * Sam Yao * Colonel Sage * Peter Lynne Plot Many Lives Are at Stake You’re on patrol with Peter when Janine interrupts with an urgent message: Colonel Sage, leader of Banktown, requires assistance. A convoy headed to his settlement is under attack from the Last Riders. Headed for the Ravine Sage informs you the convoy is a mobile resettlement colony. Unfortunately the riders have reinforced their tyres, so caltrops no-longer work and they kill the driver of a lorry full of children. You must intercept it before it falls into a ravine. Too Small to Run You and Peter jump onto the lorry as it passes beneath you. With no time to hit the brakes, you turn the wheel, leaving the lorry half dangling off a cliff. When the engine catches fire you scoop up the children before the lorry explodes. At the Entrance to the Ravine When a big rig appears, Sage guesses the Last Riders are here to steal weapons from the rear of the convoy. The riders plan to board the convoy, and Janine wants to use the moment against them. Work Best That Way You and Peter intercept the convoy as it enters the ravine, and plant a device on the front vehicle, cutting the riders’ zip lines at the same time. The big rig closes in on the final vehicle, so you and Peter will have to dash down to the other end. Get Clear of That Big Rig More riders turn up, blocking your way, and it looks like all hope is lost, until Peter cleverly uses a zip line gun to speed you past them. You plant another device on the rear lorry, and then jump from it. A Fellowship is Formed Now the riders have what they want they leave the caravan alone. Sage is confused when Janine doesn’t blow up the weapons lorry, until she explains that the planted device was a tracker. The Colonel is so impressed he requests your aid again in stopping the Last Riders. S07E14 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript SAM YAO: No, I mean, I don’t mind the guys from the castle. They’re nice kids! Just, well, you know. Shower rota time is less than five minutes now. PETER LYNNE: Yeah, I know what you mean. Still, have you heard some of their stories when Kytan runs those sharing circles? That girl Tijuca who ran with the Last Riders for a while, the story about how they made her kill her brother. I mean, it made dying in a collapsing skyscraper seem like a light romantic comedy! SAM YAO: Yeah. Still, I think they’ve told Janine a lot of useful stuff about how the Riders operate. You know, where their stashes and haunts are. And Veronica’s installing and testing that clean version of the ANNIE software. When it’s stable, she’ll be able to hook up her new core. So we’re getting closer to dealing with the Last Riders and the V-types. JANINE DE LUCA: Runner Three, Runner Five, abort your patrol. Colonel Sage, leader of Banktown, has an urgent message. Patching you in, Sage. COLONEL SAGE: De Luca, I have received a distress call from a convoy en route to my settlement through Pennant Valley. Playing it for you now. CONVOY: We’ve been hit. An arrow. A flaming arrow. Oh God, the Riders! They’re in the hills! COLONEL SAGE: The situation is grave, and I have no runners in the area. Colonel De Luca gave me to understand at the peace conference that I could contact you if I were in distress. SAM YAO: We’re on it. Guys, Pennant Valley’s not too far. JANINE DE LUCA: The convoy is north-northwest, formed of 32 caravans and has 342 souls aboard. Runners, you must not alert the Riders to your approach. Surprise is our only advantage. Many lives are at stake. moan SAM YAO: Including yours, not least because zombies in the tree line. Run. SAM YAO: Okay, convoy’s to your left, 32 vehicles. Uh, mostly slow-moving. Everything from minivans to a couple of articulated lorries fitted out as dormitories. The Riders’ll have to come along this road. It’s the only pass between the ravine and the woods. JANINE DE LUCA: I know I don’t need to emphasize the importance of this mission to you, runners. Much is at stake in addition to innocent lives. This is an opportunity to learn about the Riders. And Sage would be a valuable ally to us. While the UK is crumbling, Banktown stands strong. engines rumble, Riders whoop PETER LYNNE: Riders at 6 o'clock. They’ve set their own helmets on fire, so that’s alarming. That, and the ululating. I think my blood might have curdled. There aren’t actually that many of them, though. JANINE DE LUCA: We’ve been fortunate. A few outriders must have happened upon the convoy. Runners, distribute caltrops at six inch intervals across the road. SAM YAO: Colonel Sage, what is this convoy? COLONEL SAGE: A mobile resettlement colony. It travels the country collecting people from one township and reuniting them with friends and family in another, colloquially known as The Long Way Home. SAM YAO: That is just so lovely. Was it your idea, Colonel? COLONEL SAGE: Yes. JANINE DE LUCA: An excellent idea, and one that I ought to have had myself. Most admirable, Colonel Sage. PETER LYNNE: his breath Oh, can you just fry him in butter and serve him with gnocchi? JANINE DE LUCA: The bikers are closing in on you. Impact in five, four, three - zoom past SAM YAO: Uh, uh, those caltrops don’t seem to have had much of an effect. Um, are they slow-release caltrops? JANINE DE LUCA: No, Mr. Yao. The Riders have clearly reinforced their tires. PETER LYNNE: Not great news, but they haven’t seen us. We can sabotage the - horn honks, tires squeal SAM YAO: Oh, one of the lorries is veering off course. Oh no. They’ve hit the driver. Flaming arrow right in the face. Oh, that’s horrible. COLONEL SAGE: That is the vehicle in which the most vulnerable travel. It is full of children and the elderly. PETER LYNNE: No puppies? I’m surprised. SAM YAO: Crap! It’s heading for the ravine. JANINE DE LUCA: Runners, you must intercept it. Run! SAM YAO: Five, Three, the lorry’s going to pass under the overhang you’re on. Jump when I say. You’ll land right on top. And… jump now! Now! PETER LYNNE: Here goes nothing! SAM YAO: Peter, are you on the top? I see Five, but well, my cams are partly obscured and I don’t see you. PETER LYNNE: Five is on the top. I have splatted myself on the windshield like some sort of giant immortal fly. SAM YAO: Right. Okay. Five, you’re getting close to that ravine. Lean into the cab to get at the brakes. JANINE DE LUCA: No time. Runner Five, reach in the window and turn the wheel hard! squeal, metal creaks SAM YAO: Uh, my cam’s a bit far off, but am I right in saying that half of the caravan is dangling precariously from the edge of the ravine? PETER LYNNE: That’s about the size of it. I’m climbing up onto the roof. Pull me up, Five. Let’s head to the back and get those doors open. open, children cry Hello, everyone. Please make your way to the end of the vehicle that isn’t hanging over a precipice. That’s it. Slowly, slowly - explosion Not slowly! Not slowly. The engine’s on fire. Everybody out. SAM YAO: Oh, it’s going to blow! Five, there’s a couple of children there too small to run. Pick them up. Peter, round out the rest. Get those people out of there. Run! explosion PETER LYNNE: There goes the lorry. It was nicely kitted out, too. Could well imagine going on holiday in that. And then getting out of it and staying in an expensive hotel. honks SAM YAO: Uh, guys, there’s a big rig on the horizon. Well, that’s never good. We’ve all seen ?. COLONEL SAGE: That is a Last Riders war party. This escapade may have been a trick to lure any possible defenders away from the convoy. I believe they mean to steal the contents of the last caravan. I’m sorry, De Luca. I’ve put your people in danger. SAM YAO: Why? What’s the last caravan? COLONEL SAGE: That is the transport for the convoy’s weapons, for defense against the zombie attack. The Riders must have heard rumors that the weapons are of high quality. JANINE DE LUCA: We’ve only one option. Colonel Sage, tell the convoy to double back into the ravine. COLONEL SAGE: If the convoy enters the ravine, it will have to slow down, and the bikers will be able to board it. JANINE DE LUCA: Yes. And my runners will be able to board them. honks, motorcycle engines rev, Riders whoop PETER LYNNE: So a ramp has risen from the big rig, and bikers are pinging off it like flaming Evel Knievels. JANINE DE LUCA: Remember, Colonel, the possibility of victory lies in the attack. COLONEL SAGE: Very well. Far be it from me to contradict Sun Tzu. I will contact the convoy to instruct them. JANINE DE LUCA: Runner Three, Runner Five, meet the convoy at the entrance to the ravine. You’ll need to be fast. Run! rumbles SAM YAO: Okay. The convoy’s heading into the ravine. Runners, you’ll have to board it as it moves so they don’t have to stop. Grab the ladder on the lead vehicle. Uh, yeah, that’s good. Up you go. Right. So now you’re at the front of the convoy, whereas you want to be at the back. You’ll need to head across the tops of the caravans, then hop onto the Last Riders’ big rig, and um… JANINE DE LUCA: Plant the device. SAM YAO: Plant the device, and – what device? JANINE DE LUCA: One placed in Runner Five’s pack for precisely this type of situation. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail, Mr. Yao. thuds into caravan PETER LYNNE: Sam, they’re firing arrows at us from up there on the ravine. They’ve got special guns. The arrows are attached to cables. slide down cables and whoop Right! They’re zipping down the cables toward us whilst whooping and being on fire. I’m starting to get that “good thing I’m immortal or I’d never see bedtime” feeling. JANINE DE LUCA: Remove those lines at once! They must not be allowed to board. PETER LYNNE: You get that one, Five. Ready? Pull! laughs and then screams Ha! How’d do you like that – thuds Arrow in my foot. Arrow in my foot! Get it out, Five! Get it out! slides down cable and lands on caravan SAM YAO: Oh! Guys, you’ve got a hop-on. PETER LYNNE: Get off me, you big ? idiot! Oh! Nice flying kick, Five. There he goes. Bye, now! JANINE DE LUCA: Runners, the big rig is coming in backwards. The Riders must be planning to couple it to the rearmost caravan. SAM YAO: Guys, you need to get to the big rig as fast as you can, and then… and then… and then do something brave/heroic. COLONEL SAGE: This is all rather seat-of-the-pants, I must say. JANINE DE LUCA: Horrifies me, too, Colonel, but they seem to work best that way. Peter, Runner Five, run! SAM YAO: laughs Great platforming, guys! Couple more jumps and you’ll be on the big rig. No, hang on. Oh, bugger. Can you see that, guys? PETER LYNNE: Unfortunately, yes. Bikers swarming up the sides of the caravan in front of us with their skull-shaped helmets on fire. honks JANINE DE LUCA: The hogs have coupled the big rig to the weaponry caravan and are pulling it backwards. You’ll never get past those Riders in time. Colonel, I’m sorry. We have failed. PETER LYNNE: Oh, look. There’s something stuck in the jaws of defeat. Could it be spinach? No, it’s victory! With me, Five! SAM YAO: Peter, what are you doing? Oh, what? You’re grabbing a zipline gun from that Rider you kicked off the caravan. launches You’re – you’re firing the zipline at a tree! PETER LYNNE: Grab onto me, Five. Oh God. Here it goes! LYNNE and Runner Five swing along cable and land on rig SAM YAO: laughs Wow! Nice landing, Tarzan. By the power of Greystoke! – oh no, wait. That’s two different things. Okay, good. Good, good. I’m glad you followed through on my very clear instruction to do something brave/heroic. JANINE DE LUCA: Runner Five, retrieve the device from your bag. unzips Press the red button - arms and stick it onto the chassis of that lorry. clanks SAM YAO: Okay. Well, that device which I can only presume is a bomb. JANINE DE LUCA: Yes. Five, Three, climb down the ladder on the side of that lorry. Jump free, and roll! PETER LYNNE: shouts Landed on an unstable bit. Ow! COLONEL SAGE: Good Lord! SAM YAO: It’s okay. He’s impervious to everything except pain. honks Get clear of that big rig, guys. Run! honk, Riders whoop SAM YAO: Okay. The convoy’s on its way safely now the Riders have what they want. But our device is on it, so success. Now return to Abel and resume your perimeter patrol. laughs Just kidding. Come home and rest those tired old legs. COLONEL SAGE: Colonel De Luca, the weapons truck is far enough from the rest of the convoy now. Activate the device. JANINE DE LUCA: The device has already been activated. COLONEL SAGE: So it has failed to detonate. The weapons are lost, and the Riders are better armed than ever. Well, this is hardly the outcome I had hoped for. JANINE DE LUCA: The device was not a bomb, Colonel. It was a tracker. We have not lost the weapons. SAM YAO: Uh, we did lose a bit of Peter’s face, though. Ugh. COLONEL SAGE: Colonel De Luca, my apologies. You have shown yourself a formidable tactician, and your runners have overcome overwhelming odds despite their unorthodox methods, or perhaps because of them. We have much to learn from each other. PETER LYNNE: Pretty sure Five and I deserve a special mention here. COLONEL SAGE: I suggest we learn on the job. I have a plan to put a stop to the Riders’ mindless pillaging. Will you help me execute it? JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, Colonel Sage. We will. SAM YAO: A fellowship is formed! Watch out, Sauron. Gandalf Rest well, for tomorrow, we march on Mordor. JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Yao. SAM YAO: Sorry. Category:Mission Category:Season Seven